Save the Junkie, Save the World
by pacejunkie
Summary: After Desmond saves Charlie for the umpteenth time, Charlie finally learns that in order to break the cycle, he has to learn to save himself. Angst, adventure.


**Title:** Save the Junkie, Save the World

**Summary:** After Desmond saves Charlie for the umpteenth time, Charlie finally learns that in order to break the cycle, he has to learn to save himself.

**Rating:** PG

**Characters:** Charlie, Desmond, Claire, Sayid and Locke

**Warnings:** Spoilers up to 3x08 only

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Lost, but I'm saving up my pennies to buy Charlie.

**A/N:** This is how I would like to see this whole 'Charlie is going to die' thing resolved. This is dedicated to everyone who took my humble catchphrase and turned it into a movement. Save the junkie, save the world.

start

Another day, another heroic feat. Desmond got up from his tent and stretched. His muscles groaned as he thought back to yesterday; barely enough time to recover from his ocean swim to rescue Claire and he had been off and running again. Charlie had been about to go over a cliff while scavenging the wreckage from the hatch implosion and Desmond had to warn him not to go. At least Charlie knew by now. Desmond didn't have to make up any excuses, and that was a relief.

He just said, "Don't go there, Charlie" and Charlie understood. The young man gave a solemn nod and listened without a word. As hard as it was for Desmond, he thought he had the easier part, if not physically then at least emotionally. He wouldn't want to be Charlie with death paying a daily social call.

Desmond cracked the stiffness out of his joints and rolled his shoulders. He felt like Superman on his off day. He was exhausted, but the universe was showing no signs of stopping. Lightning storms, drownings, falls from cliffsides – the laundry list of mortality invaded his dreams, took root in his waking hours and never seemed to let up. The universe was a relentless insatiable beast and Charlie was its prey.

Later that day, Desmond was sitting with Locke and Sayid discussing their rescue plans for Jack when he had another flash. Charlie was in the jungle again, picking through more hatch wreckage but there was a trap nearby. He watched in his minds eye until he could see it more clearly. Charlie will pick something up and trigger the trap, releasing a large boulder that will crush him.

"Desmond, are you listening?" asked Locke.

Without responding, Desmond was on the run again. Locke and Sayid followed, no doubt expecting another daring yet inexplicable rescue of Claire, or perhaps someone else. Desmond stayed focused on the task ahead. He sped, jumping over branches and uneven ground, until he spotted Charlie not far from the hatch crater. The musician stood on the opposite side, bent over, about to pick up a small stuffed toy.

"Charlie!" yelled Desmond. "Stop!"

Charlie pulled his hand back and turned in the direction of the voice. When he did Desmond pointed to a spot above the man's head. Charlie looked up and saw the boulder in the tree. Charlie stood under it at the center of an imaginary bull's eye.

"Bloody hell," he whispered. With his hands out in front of him, he tiptoed back out of range.

By the time Sayid and Locke caught up to Desmond, the crisis had passed and neither man had any idea what had happened. Charlie joined them and they walked back to the beach. Desmond tried to ignore the looks he got from Charlie as they went; a mixture of silent relief and gratitude and something else. Desmond thought it might have been awe.

The next day Charlie appeared at Desmond's tent.

"Good morning," said Desmond.

"Desmond," Charlie nodded. "I've been thinking about all this."

"About what now?" Desmond asked.

Charlie squared his shoulders and looked hard at Desmond. "The next time you see danger, don't intervene."

Desmond took in Charlie's defiant stance and snorted. "You have a death wish then, do you?"

"Of course not," said Charlie, "but I don't want to spend the rest of my sodding life tied to your side, waiting for the next disaster to happen either. This is no life. There has to be a way out."

Desmond put a hand on the young man's shoulder. He didn't know what was on his mind but he wanted to offer him some hope. "Charlie, death isn't the only way out. There's got to be another way."

"You're right there is," said Charlie. "That's why you're going to stop. I'm not going to die."

"How's that?" asked Desmond.

"I've been thinking about it, and this whole thing started when you interfered with the lightning, right?"

Desmond thought back to the lightning rod. "Go on."

"Well, what if it's happening over and over because of that one act on your part?"

Desmond shook his head, trying to make the pieces fit. "Again, brother?"

"Don't you get it Desmond, the universe isn't course correcting _me_, its course correcting _you_. I don't think it means for me to die, it just wants you to stop stepping in to save me," said Charlie.

"So explain to me how that results in your survival."

Charlie lifted his chin and stated with all the conviction of the self righteous. "I need to save myself."

Desmond shook his head, unable to accept this as his own fate. _To stand back and watch someone die?_ He would be no better than the ring lady and the man with the red shoes. He condemned her for that act, how could he resign himself to do the same thing?

"No. Charlie I can't. I can't stand back and watch you die."

"But this isn't supposed to happen," Charlie argued. "It's not my cycle, it's yours. You need to be the one to break it. Have some faith in me, man. I'm going to do everything I can to get out of it, but it has to be me. It's what I'm supposed to do and you're mucking it up. Do you understand?"

Desmond didn't want to admit it for all its implications but he did understand. The more he considered Charlie's challenge, the more sense it made. If he didn't do something different, he was convinced that this would never stop.

He stood staring at the young man he had so underestimated when they had first met. He was smaller than most of the other men on the island, barely significant, but he had an inner strength that Desmond had rarely seen. Desmond hadn't experienced that kind of raw courage since he had turned the failsafe key in one crazy, suicidal act. Now here was Charlie requesting another, this time for himself.

Desmond nodded and gave his word that he would not interfere the next time.

scene break

Desmond knew it wouldn't be long before death reared its ugly head again. This time however, there would be no heroic dashes, no leaps into choppy ocean waters, no building of lightning rods. Desmond saw, but he would do nothing, and the very act of inaction tore at his stomach. Desmond wondered if it did the same thing to the old woman, despite her cool exterior, as they watched the man in the red shoes die under a pile of rubble. He escaped into the shelter of his tent and buried his head into the blankets. If he only had a bottle he would drink. Drink until it all went away and he couldn't think or feel anymore. _What kind of person was he to allow this to happen?_ He was a coward.

A few days later, it happened. Desmond was sitting just inside his tent. He didn't know where Charlie was at the time; in truth he didn't want to know, because the temptation to warn him would have been irresistible. Desmond didn't know where the man was, but he knew where Charlie would soon go, and he knew what would happen when he did. Desmond closed his eyes when he saw a flash of flame. Charlie was screaming, choking, being consumed by a raging fire in a small space, but he wasn't alone. To Desmond's horror, Claire, Locke and Sayid were with him, and they all died.

Desmond could save them. He could save them all with just a word, but if he did the disaster would only spread. Now it had gone beyond Charlie and Claire to Locke and Sayid as well. He knew in his heart that Charlie was right. The danger would continue to grow so long as Desmond interfered; it would grow like a cancer until it killed them all and even he couldn't prevent it.

Desmond had no choice but to trust Charlie. But if Charlie failed, he'd take the others down with him. Desmond could give him information that could help him increase his odds, but even that may be enough to set the cycle in motion again. He had to stop completely; he couldn't tell Charlie anything. He put his arms up around his head and burrowed himself away.

scene break

Kate and Sawyer had come back, but Jack was still captive. Charlie missed the doctor's steady presence, the man who had been like a brother to him -- the only one who would talk to him after the whole camp had turned their backs. Charlie had saved Jack's life once and Jack had returned the favour. Now, as Charlie sat brooding in Claire's tent, he came to the decision that had been nagging at him since Jack's disappearance.

He sought out Locke and Sayid, since he knew the two had been planning a rescue mission since Kate and Sawyer's return. Charlie knew every step he made these days put his life at risk, but he refused to live his life in a sealed box when lightning could strike it anyway. Jack was his friend and he wanted to help.

He found the men standing around the water basin.

"Locke, Sayid," he began. "I know you're planning to go out and rescue Jack. I want to go along."

The two men looked at him. To Charlie, Locke seemed slightly amused. He felt patronized. Sayid was giving him a different look. It was one of respect but laced with regret.

"There are three of us already, Charlie," Sayid explained, "four if Rousseau agrees to come and we need her help to find their camp."

"But I want to help," Charlie argued. "I can contribute somehow, I know it."

"Only if you know where we can find him," said Sayid.

Charlie thought. Of course he didn't know where Jack was, but neither did they and that didn't stop them from at least trying. He knew that to gain their respect, he was going to have to prove himself somehow, and to do that, he needed a place where he could get information.

"The Pearl station," said Charlie. "Show me where it is. Maybe there's something you overlooked, something that could help us find Jack."

"You know where it is Charlie," said Locke. "It's underneath Eko's plane."

"Then I'm going," said Charlie, turning to leave.

"Wait," said Sayid. "Maybe you're right. We left the Pearl prematurely when we heard the smoke monster in the jungle attacking Eko. We never did a thorough search. I'm going to go with you."

Charlie stopped by Claire's tent to grab his pack on the way. Sun was visiting with Claire.

"Charlie, where are you going?" asked Claire.

"I'm going to the Pearl station to try and find Jack," said Charlie.

Claire waited a beat and then grabbed her own pack. "I'm going too."

Charlie started to protest, his instinctive need to protect her kicking in, but then he shut his lips. He understood what it meant to feel helpless. After convincing Sayid and Locke that he had to contribute, Charlie would be a hypocrite to deny Claire the same satisfaction.

"Okay," he said. "Come on."

scene break

The group walked until they reached the subterranean Pearl station. Locke was right; Charlie knew exactly where it was. He had come here on his own many times collecting up as much heroin as he could and stashing it for a rainy day. He thought of the statues and the lies he had told. He never had any notion while he did those things that another hatch lay hidden below the ground.

As he looked upon the burned out carcass of the plane, Charlie felt another twinge in his gut. Memories of Eko came flooding back. He thought of the Nigerian priest reciting the 23rd Psalm after he had turned the fuselage into a funeral pyre. Now Eko too was gone, leaving behind only the skeletal frame of a church, redemption unfulfilled.

"Charlie," said Claire, lightly brushing her fingers against his. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," he said, turning away from the wreckage and towards the hatch that Sayid and Locke had opened. "Let's go."

One by one they climbed down the narrow shaft to the monitoring station. It was a single, octagonal shaped room, with two viewing chairs, some moveable trays and a wall full of television sets for viewing. Charlie looked around the room as Sayid spoke.

"The last time we were here, I discovered that the monitors are a closed circuit system. We can only receive and cannot transmit. We saw a brief image of a man with an eye patch in a computer room similar to that of the Swan. He is the man we hope to find. We could not get any of the other monitors to work."

"What are all these notebooks for?" asked Claire, gesturing to the closet shelves.

"There's an orientation tape that describes this as a monitoring station," Locke explained. "The system connects to the other hatches. People were instructed to watch what happened there and write their observations down in notebooks. It was a psychological experiment."

"That means you can see all the other hatches on these other screens?" asked Charlie. As he spoke, Claire went over and inspected the monitors up close.

"Theoretically, yes," said Sayid. "But I can't get them to work. I suppose I could try again."

Charlie turned to where a small desktop computer sat on a table next to a printer. "What about this computer?" he asked. "It looks like the one from our hatch."

Locke and Sayid joined Charlie at the terminal. "Yes it does," said Locke. "But this one only prints out a record of every time the button in the Swan was pushed."

"Didn't the other film warn you not to use the computer to communicate with other stations?" asked Charlie. "Maybe this one can communicate too. Maybe we can find out if Jack is all right."

Sayid and Locke looked at each other. It was clear to Charlie that neither of them had considered this option. Eko's death may have interrupted them before they could figure it out for themselves. Charlie was instantly glad that he brought them here.

Locke moved in and tapped at the keyboard while they all watched for something to happen. After a moment a new prompt appeared. Locke looked at Sayid who took his place and began typing a message as Charlie watched.

While the men waited for a response, there was a deafening sound and a blast of light. They turned to look as one of the monitors behind Claire exploded in a shower of sparks and flame, throwing her to the floor.

"Claire!" yelled Charlie as he ran to where she lay motionless.

He turned her head and shook her shoulders. "Claire, are you okay? Wake up!"

A loud pop sound rang in Charlie's ears as he turned to see the cabinet full of wiring next to the monitors burst into flames. Sayid and Locke turned from Claire to the fire that was now raging and threatening to spread.

"We have to get out of here," said Locke.

At his words, Charlie began to lift Claire in his arms just as she began to stir. He helped her to her feet and held her up as she came to her senses.

"I'm okay," she said. "What's going on?"

With no time to explain Charlie turned her towards the hatch shaft and then stopped. At some point in the confusion a blast door had come down, blocking off the ladder and sealing them inside.

"What kind of emergency exit is that?" cried Charlie, with one arm around Claire.

"They must be fire doors, meant to seal the room and put out the fire," said Locke.

"Then there has to be another way out," said Sayid.

The Iraqi felt around for another exit behind the padded walls. As he worked, Charlie tried to help, but the room was filling with thick black smoke. Claire began to cough and choke. Charlie directed her to the farthest corner from the flame.

"Claire, sit down," he said. "There's less smoke down low."

She went to where he had indicated and sank to her knees. Charlie watched her out of the corner of his eye while he, Locke and Sayid searched the chamber for another exit. Locke ripped the padding open with his knife but behind the panels was only a concrete wall. The fire spread from the wiring to the monitors and the nearest wall of the chamber. The monitors were making a sizzling sound and before Charlie knew what was happening, he was being thrown to the floor by Locke.

"Get down!" he screamed as he tackled Charlie and Sayid. Charlie felt the hard floor hit him as the remaining monitors blasted glass, spreading the fire to the viewing chairs.

Charlie crawled out from under Locke's protection and crept to where Claire sat. Sayid and Locke got up and went back to their search for an escape route. Charlie wrapped himself around Claire, feeling her tremble that soon matched rhythm with his own. _This is all my fault_, he thought, _and now everyone's going to die with me_. Charlie wondered if Desmond had foreseen this and could have saved them but for Charlie's directive not to interfere.

Suddenly, as he thought back to his conversation with Desmond, Charlie strengthened. _If this is what is supposed to happen,_ he realized, _then it's up to me to save us._

Charlie got up from the floor and began to look for a way out. Sayid was bent over, coughing. His hair was singed. Locke took Charlie's place by Claire on the floor, huddled against the wall. Charlie led Sayid over to where the others were and he sat the man down for a break. When they were as far from the fire as they could get, Charlie began banging on the walls, listening for hollow sounds. The blaze crackled and spewed behind him as it consumed the easy chairs in the center of the room. He felt the heat sear his skin.

Finally he came to a sliding door he hadn't noticed. It looked just like the closet next to it where the notebooks were kept but when he opened it Charlie found a small loo inside. It was an ordinary restroom with a toilet, sink and a mirror, except there was something about the mirror that seemed off. It wasn't above the sink like one would expect. This mirror hung next to the sink on a thin, paneled outer wall.

"Locke," Charlie yelled, "I need your knife!"

Locke rose from the corner, leaving Sayid to protect Claire and handed Charlie his knife. Charlie turned it around and with the large heavy handle he smashed the mirror. He knocked the shards away and looked in. Behind the mirror was a dark empty space.

"There's another room in there, we have to knock down this wall," said Charlie. "Get Sayid."

Locke called for him and Sayid appeared with Claire at his side. Charlie pointed to the opening. "I think this is a fake wall. Help me break it down."

As Claire stood in the doorway the three men kicked at the sheet of drywall until it cracked. Finally Sayid's boot went right through it. With hands and feet they tore at the wall until they had made a hole wide enough to crawl through. It was too dark to see, but Charlie grabbed Claire by the hand and led the way with Sayid and Locke bringing up the rear with the flames already licking at their backs.

"This way," Charlie said with a cough, feeling along the rough wall for a path. Something warm ran down his other wrist and he assumed he had cut himself on the broken glass of the mirror. Behind him, he could see the bright orange fire, lighting the faces of his friends. The flames had fully engulfed the main room and now reached the entrance of the tunnel in which they stood.

Charlie was reminded of the flaming fireball as it had chased him down the hatch corridor. The heat intensified and the room they had left belched its black smoke in thick clouds down the tunnel, burning Charlie's lungs with every toxic breath. Charlie pulled Claire along, squinting against the stinging soot and ash, moving slower with every step like in a dream. Still he saw no light at the end of the tunnel.

He started to choke and felt dizzy and disoriented. For a moment he forgot where he was and what he was doing. Then he heard Claire yelling his name. He had fallen to his knees and didn't remember doing it. Claire had him by the arm and Charlie pulled himself back up and went forward. The smoke was now so thick he could no longer see. He felt Claire's hand and squeezed it. Charlie called back to see if the others were behind her.

"Locke! Sayid!" he called and then let out a painful cough. "Are you okay?"

Only Locke's voice came back, but it was reassuring. "Yes! Sayid's with me. Keep going!"

Charlie turned back towards the hand he held. "Claire, can you reach back and grab a hand? Make sure you've got them."

He took a few steps back with her towards the fire as she groped in the dark for a hand. He waited until he heard her call back. "Locke, is that you?" she asked.

"It's me," he said, "and I've got Sayid. You've got to keep going Charlie."

Charlie turned and went onwards, pulling the human chain, feeling for a breeze, some fresh air or a pinpoint of light, but there was nothing. It was an endless road of heat and crushing darkness and death at the other end. Charlie struggled for air, refusing to succumb, feeling his way when his legs gave out a second time and the blackness before his eyes was replaced with another, darker more terrifying nothingness.

He felt his body slam into something hard as he went down and then there was a burst of light and air. The ground was soft beneath him and he felt Claire on top. He coughed and gasped, unable to open his burning eyes. Then he felt someone dragging him a few feet and dropping him down again.

He pulled several more sharp painful breaths and then opened his eyes a crack to the harsh light. His skin was blackened with soot as were those of his companions who sat by the tree next to him. He lifted his head back in the direction he had been dragged and saw a set of double doors leading underground. Black smoke billowed out from the opening. Charlie realized he must have fallen against the doors and opened them.

"Claire," he said.

She appeared in his sight and took his hand. "You did it Charlie," she said. "You saved us."

Charlie smiled and pulled Claire down to lie next to him. She curled up at his side and he closed his eyes to regain his strength for the hike back to camp.

scene break

It was Desmond's most trying day on the island yet. He had thought the day that Kelvin died had been the worst; or perhaps the day he had almost taken his own life in lonely despair, but this day beat them all. As he sat on the white sand beach with islanders going about their business, he tried not to think of the four people he may very well have sent to their deaths. Desmond didn't know if he could ever forgive himself. It had been four hours. In all likelihood, little Aaron was orphaned.

Finally, he could take it no longer. If he interfered, so be it, but if they needed help he was going to be there to give it. He rose and headed off in the direction of the Pearl station. He was almost at the tree line when four filthy, exhausted bodies came staggering out from the dense jungle. They seemed to be holding one another up.

Desmond smiled and let out a huge laugh. "Charlie!" he cheered and grabbed the young man in an embrace. Charlie nearly collapsed in his arms as the others stood around them, no doubt feeling as though they were missing something.

"You did it, didn't you?" Desmond asked.

Charlie refused to let go. He held on tight, tears falling loose onto Desmond's shoulder and said only, "Thank you. Thank you, brother."

Desmond wanted to thank him in return. He knew that Charlie had done more than save himself and three others. Charlie had saved Desmond too. It was the last flash that Desmond would have. The universe had course corrected, and their lives were back on the right track.

**THE END**


End file.
